Lesson of the timespan

Nov. 11th, 2025 03:05 pm
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[personal profile] buttonsbeadslace
I have an avoidance problem when it comes to telling people news, like sometimes when something is difficult to do I can muster the Doing but not the ability to explain it to anyone else. So uh anyway the partner and I moved to Spain, we've been in Barcelona for two weeks now, and as of today we are officially registered as residing at the address we reside at, because apparently that's a thing you have to do here. I have learned how to sort my recycling and hail a taxi. I am taking Spanish classes to brush up & improve, in which I am learning a lot about local history and remembering how much I do love listening attentively while knowledgeable people Explain Things to me. Despite intensive efforts to convince myself that the average daily high and low temperature in Barcelona in November really is 50F-65F, followed by a fair amount of wardrobe planning, I still ended up packing some clothes that are warmer than I really need. I was worried about adapting to the Spain-Spanish accent, which is quite different from all of the Latin-American-Spanish accents I'm familiar with, but my current teacher is from Cuba and forgets to put on the Spain accent half the time, so I'm in good company at least!

(plural) get the keys let's go

Nov. 11th, 2025 08:28 am
northlands: (other worlds than these)
[personal profile] northlands
we try to be hopeful about most things. we've spent the majority of our existence dealing with depression and despair, so learning to fight back against dark thoughts and try to hold something good in our hearts, even if it's the smallest spark, was very important.

but some days. some days that's easier said than done. some days the isolation wears on us, and we're certain that it's all pointless. genuine connection isn't going to happen. this is it.

it would be nice just to have someone ask us if we're okay one day, and actually mean it, and actually want a real answer.

we're tired, and we really weren't prepared for it to snow.

Daily Poetry: November 9, 2025

Nov. 9th, 2025 09:44 pm
neurosismancer: (Default)
[personal profile] neurosismancer
Two poems today, one going behind a cut.

2025-11-09

there is a hunger gnawing
at the soul of society
a woman falls to her knees
at the church door
begging for sustenance
and salvation
but brushed off by brutality
victims of original sin
within and without the walls
of the unholy temple
look inside and see no symbols
nothing there to pray to
but so may empty promises
of wealth and power
for those deserving enough
while showmen preach
and pick parishioners pockets
who leave the service
with souls as empty as the stomach
of the beggar at the door

CW: discussion of suicide and self-harm )
flexagon: (Default)
[personal profile] flexagon
The weeks are tumbling over each other like fat, happy, stupid puppies. I've gotten a little bit out of the habit of keeping daily snippets, as these last two weeks especially have been very "go, go, go". I had the thought, a couple of nights ago, that as I fall asleep the things I regret not doing more of tend to be a) self-care type exercise, b) reading, c) email; that last one not because I love it, but because I dislike feeling behind on it.

This week, same as last week, I again bounced around between condos. At the new one I finished a bunch of stuff; click if you like houses! )

Physically, I did my TGUs at 55lb for the third week in a row and then touched the back of my head to both feet while in a backbend; only the second time in my life I've done that. I also had a walkover lesson that was surprisingly pleasant.

Spent an afternoon at [personal profile] apfelsingail's place, helping with winter window treatments and discovering an excellent hole-in-the-wall bakery. And painting our nails with the results of a recent mooncat order. (There's a peachy-pink color that it surprises me to really love.) I also had lunch with [personal profile] mindways, and was extremely tickled to learn that he's dating another kind, helpful, competent person I've known for a few years... sometimes the universe makes a very satisfying click, as pieces settle into place.

Media recommendation for those who like philosophical TV shows: I watched the first two episodes of Pluribus with the squirrel, and really like it so far. It's like a darker version of The Good Place, and holds up American hyper-individualism very effectively against a world that is largely a lot more collectivist. So it appears that the squirrels have a new show! The bug and I also just finished up the single season that exists of Scavengers Reign, which was recommended to me by someone at Zillian and which went delightfully all-out on the alien botany. Text is still my medium of choice, but my recent string of 2-star reviews on Goodreads says I'm doing weirdly better with TV lately.

Did I mention I've been training a lot? Off to the Epsom salt bath with me.

nothing is sacred nothing is safe

Nov. 8th, 2025 11:19 pm
the_siobhan: (goth music sucks)
[personal profile] the_siobhan
Welp, it has been a week.

I didn't really plan ahead for the day after NaDruWriNi, so I had to drag myself out of bed to work on Sunday. I woke up to a message that my dad was in the hospital. The medical issue was dealt with promptly, which is good. Thursday they announced they would be sending him home the next day.

Problem being, he has been getting weaker really fast and after almost a week in bed we were worried he wasn't safe to go up stairs on his own - they live in a two-story row house. So his wife rented him a bed and equipment to set him up in the living room. Since I'm the only family member who doesn't work Fridays I went over to haul furniture around and make space for the delivery. Their 100+ year old house has a staircase that gets narrower as you get higher, something I discovered while hauling a marble-topped fucking table up the stairs. (They've lived there for 30+ years and they have SO MUCH stuff.)

But room was made, bed was installed with no issue, and today the rest of the family showed up to finish organizing, hang a privacy curtain, and install some child-gates and locks. He was wobbly and exhausted when he got home on Friday, but reports are that he's a lot stronger today after a good sleep.

***

Meanwhile I got a call from permit-wrangler that he was showing up at the house on Monday with the inspector and to have the blueprints available. Last I heard she (the inspector) was going to talk to her boss about what could be done. I haven't heard anything back, but I'll follow up on Monday so cross your fingers for me.

I haven't done anything more in that basement room since I figure I'll wait to see if I have to rip it all out first. So today was spent trying to sort out my shit on the first floor. I'm trying to make enough room that I can empty out the storage unit, because that will save me just under $300 a month.

***

I spoke to a friend who spent the summer dealing with a broken ankle and he gave me the name of the physiotherapy clinic he goes to - which just happens to be barely a block from my house. The woman I met with came to the conclusion that the plantar faciitis is actually healing just fine - but that at some point my achilles got involved, and that's what is now causing the majority of my problems. She's been treating that for the last two weeks and holy shit, it is SO MUCH better. I'm still using the cane to protect the plantar fascia because that's not 100% yet, but already have so much less pain. Halle-fucking-lujah.

***

Goths Against Fascism are raising money for the National Immigration Law Centre this weekend. So listening to tunes after a day of hauling my own furniture around.



As I posted elsewhere, I would like my times to be less interesting now please.

Some Recent Poems

Nov. 8th, 2025 08:51 pm
neurosismancer: (Default)
[personal profile] neurosismancer
I've been neglecting posting my poetry here, so here's a little omnibus post of some of my favorites from the last few days.

All behind a cut because I respect your Reading Pages enough to not put several screens worth of poems on them. )

Putting Myself Out There

Nov. 8th, 2025 08:32 pm
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[personal profile] neurosismancer
I've decided to start really putting some effort into getting myself and my writing out into the world. A few days ago, I pulled the trigger and published a digital version of the chapbook of poetry I've been compiling: Hymns of Survival and Rage. It's a 40 page DRM Free name-your-own-price PDF and it feels so good to just have a collection of my work out in the world. I fully intend to do a print run at some point in the near future as well.

On Wednesday the 12th, I'm going to hit up the monthly Dyke Mic at Ginger's, a lesbian bar in Brooklyn, to read a few poems from the chapbook and some new ones. I'm also planning to hit up a more local, more general open mic in the neighborhood later this month, too. I want to get more comfortable reading in front of audiences more regularly, really try and get myself out there and see how people receive my work. To that end, I've also started recording videos of me reading my daily poems and posting them on my Instagram and Bluesky. It feels good, and I've gotten a decent reception so far.

I also have a couple essays in progress, one on identity, anonymity / pseudonymity, and the rapidly disappearing ability to redefine yourself online. The other is the first in what I intend to make a series revisiting some old pieces called "Forgotten Records" I wrote for a friend's site a lifetime ago. They're ripe for revisiting, as I've come a long way as a writer since then. Oh, and that erotica I wrote about a while back is still a going concern as well.

Hopefully, I can build up enough of an interested audience that I can start bringing in a little income from my writing, maybe pick back up on freelance stuff as well. I just want so much to put my writing skills to use in a larger capacity, and this seems like the way to start. Here's hoping.
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[personal profile] kellshaw

The Were Chronicles by Alma Alexander is probably one of my favorite books I’ve read recently. It’s actually three books bundled together, the individual ones being Random, Wolf and Shifter. The introduction posits that it’s a work of ‘Hard Fantasy’, in that the shapeshifting is based on science (the author is a molecular biologist). It’s also a lot more grounded than a lot of fantasy as the book explores the impact of werecreatures on culture, society and on science. (I wouldn’t call it soft sci-fi either, as that always reminds me of Doctor Who, where this is more like Ursula LeGuin playing with urban fantasy tropes.)

Each month, the Were people shift into animal form. It’s not a great existence; they don’t remember their transformations, and have to be kept in cages, lest they run off or hurt people. However, their people are still proud of their heritage and live in large clans that support each other. During adolescence, Weres imprint on an animal that they will turn into for about three days (about the length of a full moon) for the rest of their lives. In a world that reminded me a bit of how the X-Men were treated, Weres are regulated by the government. Weres that don’t have anyone to help them during their transformations are imprisoned in horrific institutions, and there are drugs you can take to suppress (but not completely stop) one’s transformation.

The first book in the collection, Random, is the story of Jazz. As her brother desperately tries to trigger his own transformation as a rite of passage, Jazz’s own transformation is triggered - and she shifts into a human male that resembles her older brother! I was expecting an exploration of gender identity, but it’s really a story of immigrant identity. The focus of the book is a character study of Jazz’s older sister, Celia, her death, and the impact on her family. Jazz reads her sister’s journals and privately blogs about her reaction to them in her internet journal. Celia’s story is about fleeing Eastern Europe, as violence against Weres increases, immigrating to America and trying to fit in. Horror elements are subtly explored through the Turning Houses (where shifters are compulsorily imprisoned by the government each full moon) and the tragic bullying that Celia faces at school. I thought Jazz’s story was largely overshadowed by her sister’s, and yet this thread anchors the entire trilogy.

Wolf is the story of Mal, Jay’s brother. During the events of the first book, he ‘cheats’ to trigger his transformation into a wolf, or Lycan. (He’s friends with ‘Chalky’, a mysterious shifter who can turn into any animal, and he can control and keep his human mind during the transformation, unlike the after Weres. And when Chalky bites Mal, he triggers Mal’s transformation into a wolf.) Now Mal is a member of one of the oldest and most mysterious Were clans. The Lycans come for him and indoctrinate him into their society - and they’re all biologists! Mal is taken to the compound and trained in basic labwork. Each month, Mal enters the wolf sanctuary in wolf form. This is probably one of the most original werewolf society studies I’ve read about. It’s a social story about Mal finding a place in the Lycan society and culture when he’s an outsider to such a closed and cliquey group, obsessed with research, family bloodlines and academia. It’s also about a younger generation rising up and challenging the status quo. This was my favourite story in the book.

Shifter is the story of Chalky (alias Saladin) Mal’s friend, who can shift into any shape. He starts off using it for mischief, and then by the end of the book is involved in a full-blown spy plot against the religious authoritarian movement that’s cracking down on Weres.

Overall, I loved the world-building and the character studies. Alexander’s background as a scientist underlies the trilogy, grounding the story in interesting ways. Especially with extracts of academic reports and papers sprinkled through the books. Probably my main caveat is that Alexander spends a chunk of the second book covering the events of the first, and most of the last book covering the events of the second from Chalky’s point of view. It’s fantastic from a character perspective, but by the time we catch up to events, the plot becomes a bit squished, and could have used longer to explore the intrigue that Chalky gets involved in. Anyway, it was a fascinating dive into ‘Hard Fantasy’ and a highly recommended read, particularly if you want to read a book that explores werecreatures in a different light.

They weren't lying!

Nov. 8th, 2025 02:00 pm
tjezem: (Default)
[personal profile] tjezem
Chasing squirrels is very satisfying on a dog level. I have wanted to. I just never did before because I felt like I would stress them out. I feel like if I was stressing them out, they'd be a bit quicker than that. I think this may actually be good for them. The one who ran up a tree in my front yard looked down at me and didn't even seem scared.

If I was in a physically canine body, I imagine their fear would be more prominent. These guys will eat out of hands if allowed. So of course they wouldn't be too scared. 

Oh but how fun & rewarding the chase is on its own!

Sidenote: I don't like how the predatory mood icon looks angry. Anger is not a part of my predator nature! So I am using a different one for the purpose and labelling it as "preying & chasing" since it seems using predatory on its own makes it that icon

(no subject)

Nov. 8th, 2025 09:48 am
nilchance: original art from a vintage print; art of a woman being struck by lightning (Default)
[personal profile] nilchance
I've got nothing much concrete to say today, but I'm in a music sharing mood, so here's this song I listened to on repeat while writing and that has been consequently stuck in my head for days. the artist used to be the bass singer in Pentatonix who left to do his own thing, and it's pretty awesome:

(no subject)

Nov. 8th, 2025 12:14 pm
honigfrosch: a stark, stylized black and white photo of a man's face in semi profile (Default)
[personal profile] honigfrosch


Haven't been around because my mom was in hospice care, and eventually died on March 19th. I'll keep not being around for an undetermined time, until I can make blogging make sense again. The only exception will be the annual holiday love meme, during which I am going to maintain the alphabetical list of participants, as is tradition. I hope to see you there.

I wish you strength and kindness and moments of rest. Given all the... *gestures at world* circumstances, I wish you were like an unkillable angry weed, like a deep-rooted reliable tree, or like a tiny ember holding out stubbornly for the hearth.

Being online is still too overwhelming, but physical letters (no parcels!) can be sent to:
Honigfrosch
Postfach 30 01 82 (attention, the spaces between the numbers are mandatory)
51411 Bergisch Gladbach
Germany
(If you need additional information, send me a DM, no problem.)

You can write about anything that's on your mind, be it good or bad or silly. We're all frogs in the same pond, and I'd like to hear from you (and write a letter back, naturally - I have a lot of pretty envelopes I'd like to use).

more of that backstory fic

Nov. 7th, 2025 10:21 am
nilchance: original artist terry moore; blonde staring at canvas with nude male and black handprint (fandom)
[personal profile] nilchance
because I have no chill, I have written the second part of two of the backstory fic for my oath of redemption paladin Dalton and his prince-turned-thief Kristoff. this one is set about a year after the first. there is much gay pining between the prince and his paladin if you're into that kind of thing. I also decided to post it on AO3. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

the Bastard is borrowed from Lois McMaster Bujold's Chalion series, which I would highly recommend.

in which Dalton has a very long day and certain promises are made )

It's Nice To Hope Again

Nov. 5th, 2025 11:04 am
neurosismancer: (Default)
[personal profile] neurosismancer
It's been quite the week. As I sit here typing, drinking my coffee, I'm basking in the warm afterglow of the hoped for but somewhat unexpected. Zohran Mamdani, the Democratic Socialist candidate for Mayor of New York, has won and I could not be happier. I won't lie, I was (metaphorically) biting my nails most of yesterday evening while watching Star Trek to distract me, but as the results came in from the elections in Virginia and New Jersey, I began to unclench. Then the first tranche of results from Early Voting dropped with Zohran in a commanding lead I could finally breathe. I stepped out after the election was called to get some celebratory ice cream for my spouse and myself, and as I walked to the store, I looked up at the bright full Super Moon and smiled at her.

While I didn't watch the coverage live, I saw the posts and clips of Zohran's victory speech, and the very fact that he even mentioned the transgender community was enough to choke me up a bit. (In fairness, yesterday was also Shot Day.) Just to have an elected politician mention my community and choose to include us in the struggle rather than keep us at arms length like so many establishment Democrats — or, like so many others, to push us away in disgust —was a breath of fresh air. He sees us, listened to us, and will defend us. It's a shame how rare it is to feel that way about a politician these days.

Now I get to bask in the glow of victory and relief for fifty-six days plus how ever long it takes for him to fuck up and make me mad. Because he will fuck up. As I'd posted on a Reddit (dont @ me) thread about the election, I'm hopeful he'll accomplish some of his goals. I don't care if he fulfills every promise he made int he campaign. I care only that he tries.

So.

The night before Halloween, I did myself up in witchiest, and went out with my girlfriend to Body Hack, the big local trans party, and had a lovely time. And by lovely, I mean I made out with three girls and got contact info. Just need to make plans. Halloween night, I relaxed and stayed in with my vape pen, the candy that didn't get taken by the kids in the building, and watched Queen of the Damned (2002). It's easily one of the goofiest, campiest, over the top goth films I've watched, and while it fails as a sequel to Interview with the Vampire in the most important of ways (not nearly gay enough), it was still a delight. Seventeen year old Nora missed out, because I guarantee I would have had my Nu-Metal Phase a good twenty-three years sooner. I'm also 1000% here for Emo Twink Lestat and I would absolutely let Vampire Aaliyah rip my heart out of my chest.

Sadly, I spent a chunk of the weekend upset for reasons I'd rather not go into and then sick.

And as for how the day before the election went? I'm putting that behind a cut. )

Aside from that, I had a frustratingly sleepless night that I at least used somewhat productively. I started a new essay on identity, anonymity / pseudonymity, the ability to redefine yourself in the Internet age, and how that seems to be going away fast. It probably won't be as long as "Synthetic Ghosts" but I'm off to a good start.

The other upshot of the insomnia was that I was awake to see the breaking news that Dick Cheney had died. Tuesday began as well as it ended. Can't ask for more than that.

(no subject)

Nov. 5th, 2025 11:26 am
imperfectionisperfection: (Default)
[personal profile] imperfectionisperfection
appreciate the natural

light while you got it

during autumn and winter

its so nice now

like they say

wake up and

smell the sunshine

you still get vitamin d

from shadows even during winter

especially as the ultra violette light

is even stronger then

such a wonderful day =)

most leaves are gone now

then itll be snow

well since im not a god level junkie

therell be near zero snow

a few millimetres at most

last winter it snowed like 15 times

but almost nothing

this will be a repeat

and those after

still

a new season! 🍂
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