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transandnonbinary2022-12-02 12:07 pm
virgosplaining) wrote in transandnonbinary2022-12-02 12:07 pm
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December 2022: Monthly Social
12/02/2022 - 12/04/2022
Good day! One of the things I wanted to start around here is a monthly get-together to get to know each other and chat about what we please. I'm going to try to make this every first Friday of each month. In the future I might devise more specific themes, but for this round I'd love to do an almost friending-meme sort of post. For everyone who doesn't want to post a separate post for an introduction, please come here!
Otherwise, free for all! Got trans artists & art to recommend? Want to share your own? Want to talk transition? Got fun anecdotes to share? Go on to your heart's content!
introductions
I'm ziggy - you can call me that, z, zig, or even bex. I'm in my early 30s. I'm genderqueer and use they/them pronouns. I like reading, writing, and crocheting -- and I want to learn a whole host of other fiber arts. I love horror, sff, plenty of classic lit, and pretty much anything to do with vampires. I also have a huge interest in true crime.
Nice to meet you all! ♥
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Not sure what to write.
I was out at a queer craft event yesterday and got stickers:
It was just a tiny one at a beer cart, but it was good to get out.
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For those who don't already know me, I'm a queer trans guy over 40, I live in a conservative part of the US and it's tough here, I write things, I make art, I am owned by cats. I'm kind of shy but trying to come out of my shell a bit more and I'm open to new adds.
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Chiming in
My reaction to parental and cultural indoctrination while growing up was to bury all that deeply enough beneath a layer of cishet normativity that even I didn't realize it was there. Some years back, when the words showed up, the gender identity did, too. And finally made sense of things I'd been doing for self-care in those years.
Went from there to going Out In Public as myself in specific gender-friendly environments, to more and more situations, to a lot of the time in daily life and pretty much all the time in several communities I'm part of.
By way of helping people in those communities who I have known for a while understand where I'm going, I often wear my genderqueer and they/them buttons, no matter my outfit. And the button pictured in this post's icon by way of illuminating what spurred my social transition.
In here, I'm fine going by "Moonmoth" for now. I am (successfully) experimenting with an out name that speaks to me, but I'm holding out to see whether one that sings to me shows up. I have some sticky notes with more information, including where the handle comes from, at the top of my journal.
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1) This poem, Ode to Trucking Company Names That Include 'Trans' by Dri Chiu Tattersfield, which came across my Tumblr dashboard this morning.
2) The Machineries of Empire series by Yoon Ha Lee (a trans queer author), which I'm on the third book of. Not a book series about being trans, by any means, but queer characters of all stripes occupy important roles throughout. (It's a science fiction series about war and imperialism and morally compromised people, so keep that in mind, but that's exactly why I like it.)
3) From The Inside Out: Radical Gender Transformation, FTM and Beyond edited by Morty Diamond. I ordered this a month ago and it hasn't arrived yet, but I saw extracts of it posted on Tumblr and it struck me. I love reading trans voices in this kind of thing; I devoured We Both Laughed In Pleasure a year or two ago, and Now You See Me: Lesbian Life Stories, which also includes accounts of gender variance and non-conformity from older lesbians in the UK.
Re: introductions
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Gender-fluid or nonbinary suits me, as does gender-queer. Been poking at gender since I was a kid, when I looked at it all as 'born a girl, socialized as a boy', and that really is the way I am. They/Them, don't mind other pronouns, still get a kick out of being 'sirred'.
Mostly a lurker, but willing to lend an ear or a shoulder if life is hurting you.
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Re: introductions
Re: Chiming in
I super relate to this in particular.
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(It's a science fiction series about war and imperialism and morally compromised people, so keep that in mind, but that's exactly why I like it.
That sounds absolutely delightful. Taking notes!
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Lurkers are super welcome. I hope you'll enjoy your time here!
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My transition started a lot later than many other folks'--I didn't even know I was trans until I was in my late 30s, and then life circumstances preventing me from starting any kind of transition (apart from being out online, which I have been for over a decade) until the fall of 2019. And then came COVID, which really threw a wrench into everything, including my plans to meet more trans and NB folks locally.
In the new year I'm going to finally get going on the paperwork aspects of my transition (changing name, gender markers, etc.) I'm lucky enough to live in a US state where that's not too difficult, but I'm still dreading outing myself to a zillion strangers.
My other hope for this year is for top surgery. If anybody has recommendations, un-recommendations, or other advice about top surgery, surgeons, etc. I'd be grateful. Especially if you know of a GOOD surgeon who is not fatphobic and doesn't impose BMI requirements.
I'm into queer genre fiction (especially featuring gay/bi/trans men) and I've been pretty thoroughly obsessed with Our Flag Means Death since this spring. I also have a terrible weakness for all kinds of older books, TV, and films that are full of delicious queer coding, from Shakespeare to (certain runs of) Doctor Who.
I'm currently making my fourth attempt to read all of Moby Dick.
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Re: Chiming in
Really? It seems like it's got a lot in common with what I've heard from many other people about their own paths to awareness of their gender identity.
>> I hope things continue to go well on your path with deciding on a name. ♥ <<
Thanks for the good wishes. My life experience so far is that I'm better off being open and ready to spot when something like that comes to me, rather than trying to go out and hunt it down. I suspect that some time between now and "out all the time", I'll get the answer and know it's right.
>> I super relate to ["boy"/"girl" things, and a veneer of cishetnormativity] in particular. <<
That also seems to be a common experience. I continue to deal as I can, with help, with the anger, pain, and sorrow I am now feeling from having gone on that path.
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I'm Grayson (although, on the Internet, I go by Fleet or Fleet Sparrow; long story). Pronouns are zie/zir (although I'm flirting with others but nothing else has stuck yet). I'm an asexual genderless-leaning-masc being of many years (at least 3).
In case anyone's curious, I figured out I'm trans after too many "am I not sufficiently feminist?" dark nights of the soul because I wasn't ~happy~ or (necessarily) proud of being female, and remember those times during the early to mid-2010s Tumblr where people would yell at you for not using menstrual cups to be better about the environment and only at the end throw in a parenthetical about how if you had X amount of trauma, you were forgiven and excused from the above yelling?
Yeah... I'm still a little scarred from that nonsense.
Anyway!
I'm a connoisseur of puns and terrible jokes, know far too much trivia about Batman and DC comics characters, have a probably unhealthy obsession with Yu-Gi-Oh Duel Monsters, Mystery Science Theater 3000 and bad movies in general, and I probably have an echolalia reference for anything thrown at me.
I'm also terrible at being serious and serious at being terrible. *finger guns*
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I've been identifying as genderqueer since I was a teenager, but what that's looked like has shifted over the years and I'm still jostling at some barriers of what I'd like to access but can't easily, and what I can access easily but have a feeling I probably shouldn't.
In terms of trans and nonbinary reading at the moment, I'm halfway through The Remedy: Queer and Trans Voices on Health and Health Care, edited by Zena Sharman, which I'd so far recommend to anyone interested in the topic, especially anyone looking for some Canadian content. It's a great collection of pieces from folks who've walked through health care systems as patients, practitioners, and everything in between, with works ranging from poetry to profiles on innovative programs to reflective essays.
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I have a great many interests, including mathematics, violence prevention, outreach/volunteering, community-building, self-care, and fandom (mainly Star Trek, Leverage, and BBC Merlin). I am a notorious collector of links and resources, for all sorts of different ends. See my journal for some examples; most of my recent posts are resource lists.
One of my main professional interests is prevention and education regarding interpersonal violence (AKA sexual violence, relationship violence, and stalking). I have specific interests in the nuances of helping genderqueer survivors, taking a non-gender reductive approach to the examination of the role of misogyny in interpersonal violence, and analyzing the relationship between transphobic fear mongering and rape culture. I have been working in the field for 5 years (since even before I identified as genderqueer) and I learn more every day.
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